Vulnerability breeds strength. Not PR-a-deadlift strength, although this is possible, but the courage, practical wisdom, and inner fortitude to keep pushing, moving on, fighting the good fight, keeping perspective, and living LIFE strength. That’s what I’m talking about.
I believe that true glory in life is rising every time you fall. Life is a gift and a battle too. Through this Warrior Movement, I want everyone to know they have the capacity to be SO strong, SO resilient, SO fearless, SO powerful, if they allow themselves to be engaged in the battle of life.
Our battlegrounds are our life. How engaged are you in your own life? How in tune with yourself are you? Are you so busy you don’t really know left from right, Monday from Tuesday? Are your battlegrounds empty and filled with self pity, or are they filled with tools of resilience like people who build you up, good food, a healthy training community, people you can talk to, self-care tools, and quiet?
I ask myself the same questions. My battleground has been mucked with self doubt, regrets, fear of failure, loneliness, loss, but also filled with love, good people, family, education, change, and tools that are helping me get to where I am today.
Every week I coach an adaptive strength class, which is really all about bringing veterans and civilians with invisible and visible wounds together. This class gives me a huge boost of serotonin that fuels my own resilience. I get to learn their stories and see their growth and determination. I get to witness firsthand the sense of feeling normal again and completeness that comes from being pushed and driving towards a mental and physical goal. It honestly reminds me why I keep battling, why I enjoy what I do as a movement/ strength coach and physical therapist, why I am so thankful for my own life and the decisions I made to get here. The road here has not always been smooth and I know many of you can relate.
Let me paint you a picture. My adaptive strength class has many characters with battlegrounds I am slowly beginning to understand. In attendance we have a lovely lady who is a mother of two, a former Marine, a member of Team Red White & Blue who is also suffering from stage 4 adrenal cancer. We have a young man who lost his leg above the knee in Afghanistan, a veteran who used to have alcoholism, a Naval chief who was sexually assaulted by her own peer, a soldier who suffered a mild traumatic brain injury, a Naval Officer who lost part of his leg while serving overseas … the list goes on. All these individuals have been through enough where giving up seemed like an easier option. But they all chose to be on the path to growth. They all chose to enter the arena and work to normalize, heal, share their story, be vulnerable, share their sweat, and share a piece of themselves with me. For this I am grateful.
During the class all you hear is encouragement, some choice swear words, my usual weird jokes, and of course, laughter. At the end we medicate with lacrosse balls, mashing into our soft tissues to help bring blood to our stiff and stressed tissue. At this point in our lives, we do this instead of medicating other ways.
To me and many of the athletes who come to the adaptive strength class, the gym or training ground is what Theodore Roosevelt called the arena. As adaptive athletes we are facing our fears, building ourselves to be engaged in life, and supporting ourselves and others to be stronger in mind and body, and ultimately more resilient. And we are doing it together as a team.
In Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly she quotes Theodore Roosevelt’s “The Man in the Arena” speech.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust, sweat, and blood; who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasm, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
Who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
Everyone in this adaptive strength class has stepped into the arena. Everyone who has stepped into the arena has shown vulnerability. You don’t have to be an adaptive athlete, or even an athlete; you have to be a human being who wants to engage in life and live your life to the fullest. You have to be all in and all present!!
Brene Brown writes in her book, “The willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and clarity of our purpose, the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.”
When we search for the perfect time to walk into the arena, it is often too late. We may have ruined friendships, relationships, and wasted precious time.
“Rather than sitting on the sidelines and hurling judgment and advice, we must dare greatly and show up and let ourselves be seen!” Brown wrote.
Allow yourself to fully engage in your life’s battle. Enter the arena, whether it is in the form of a gym or a playing field or something else. The battle doesn’t have to be alone; it can be fought and won daily with your loved ones around you. Searching for perfect and second-guessing your abilities will only take you down a path of sitting on the sidelines.
All you have to be is all in, present, and engaged in your battle arena.
SGT Cogen Nelson is a recently retired United States Marine Corps Sergeant, due to combat injury. After deploying multiple times to Iraq, SGT Nelson suffered wounds, both physically and mentally thus leading to his medical discharge. Although he came back with his limbs, he suffered severe PTSD and depression as a result of his deployments.
After undergoing treatment and support for his wounds, SGT Nelson tried CrossFit in his spare time to boost his mood and work on his fitness. It turned out that while doctors never expected SGT Nelson to lift heavy weights or high repetitions, he was able to adapt and maintain a lifestyle that supported his fitness goals. He went on to take his Level 1 CrossFit Trainer Course and now owns and operates House of CrossFit alongside his wife in Carlsbad, CA. He enjoys offering the opportunity of fitness to Veterans and members of the Southern CA community while challenging them to reach their goals. He has two children, a son Jarrod, 10 and daughter Ellie, 2 that he lives with in Carlsbad.
Send your message to SGT Nelson using these hashtags: #houseofcrossfit #neversurrender #neveralone
Dr. Eva Selhub is an internationally recognized expert, physician, author, speaker and consultant in the fields of stress, resilience, mind-body medicine and working with the natural environment to achieve maximum health and wellbeing. Dr. Selhub engages her clients and her audiences with her powerful energy, words of wisdom and scientific knowledge to be empowered to transform themselves, their health and their life for the better.
Board Certified in Internal Medicine, Dr. Selhub is on staff at Harvard Medical School and is a Clinical Associate of the world renowned Benson Henry Institute for Mind-Body Medicine at the Massachusetts General Hospital. Dr. Selhub also works with clients privately, combining her knowledge and expertise from Western and allopathic medicine and from the Eastern healing traditions.
As an author and speaker, Dr. Selhub uses her gift to bridge science with spirit and provides individuals with a framework to achieve transformational health and wellbeing. Her newest book, Your Health Destiny, represents the culmination of her 20 years of practice in medicine with her experience in working with more esoteric healing traditions. Dr. Selhub is also the author of The Love Response, the co-author of Your Brain on Nature, and several guided meditation CD’s.
Dr. Eva has been published in medical journals and featured in national publications including The New York Times, USA Today, Self, Shape, Fitness, and Journal of Woman’s Health, and has appeared on radio and television in connection with her work, including the Dr. Oz show.
For more information on her speaking and consulting services as well as products, visit www.drselhub.com.
This is Dr T in a short interview after telling her story to students at California State University of North Ridge during National Eating Disorder Awareness Week on Feb 24th 2015. The organization that interviewed her was http://proud2bme.org.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
I cannot help but notice that despite having the opportunity to know a good number of successful entrepreneurs, healers, life coaches, yoga masters, fitness coaches, meditation coaches and medical doctors, unfortunately only a FEW have left a mark on me thus far. I think we can all tell in the first few minutes of meeting someone if they are interested in the other side of their conversations, or if they are fully present. With our hands full of social media, emails, and data, and our bodies full of caffeine or sugar, it seems like attention deficit disorder is rampant.
Growing up, I had a great coach who taught me how to discern if someone is genuine or fake. In today’s world, our filtered online lives often shine brighter than our real, unfiltered lives. Our devices are distractions to our present, and our presence. Thankfully my coach didn’t even know what social media was, and in my opinion was better for it. For my coach, time and being present most definitely equalled love.
This time + presence = love lesson is something I’ve tried not to forget and is absolutely refreshing when I am on the receiving end. I find poignant examples of this lesson in my life in the following:
While spending time at my Mothers bedside at age 10, singing songs to her and reading her stories while she was slowly passing away (me being present to her, but I suspect she was being even more present to me);
When attending my young pitchers’ softball games;
A good friend traveling cross-country to see me when I was confused and struggling to figure out my life after leaving the Marine Corps;
When searching for a more meaningful path in physical therapy, I went to visit a physio ninja up San Francisco, who took time out of his very busy schedule to help me with my direction.
But I digress a bit.
From this particular coach – whom some call the Wizard – I learned a number of deep and precious life lessons. This man was someone who served his country as a US Army Officer during Vietnam, worked on an oil platform in Alaska, made some serious money as a commodity broker, married a beautiful German woman, had three children, and gave up everything so he could be home to care for his wife who eventually passed away from breast cancer. This wizard built a log cabin with one of his friends, started his own business which he eventually sold, and then became a Catholic priest. As a priest, he turned his parish’s finances around, he visited the sick no matter what time of day or night, he fished with friends and family any opportunity he could, he rode his bike hundreds and hundreds of miles not for himself but as dedication to a cause, and he donated his meager income to causes that were about changing the world.
What he did, however, is not nearly as important or touching as how he made his fellow humans feel. This Wizard of a man inspired a long trail of funny and heart-warming stories being told about him, memorials dedicated to him, masses said for him, and donations being made on his behalf. I know he made me feel like a million bucks. He was my biggest fan, someone I trusted, someone who loved me unconditionally, someone who made me feel like I was good enough.
This Wizard was my Dad, Father Joseph Hornick. He passed away in Fall 2014, while cycling a 100 mile route, having dedicated it to a friend with terminal cancer. His accomplishments are amazing and are talked about to this day amongst the thousands of people he has inspired. But the tears of gratitude and sadness swell when conversations turn to how he made people feel. Accepted, warm, loved by God, fully capable, and listened too. From the man who confessed about beating his wife to the 98 year old in the hospital whose family had neglected her, my Father would be fully present without judgement. I am hoping I can do the same.
Has anyone ever commented on how they feel in your presence? If not, then ask someone close to you. You will make the most impact if you are present, genuine, and show your ability to listen to the person on the other side of the conversation. Be the Wizard in your sphere of influence.
